2008
Poltergeists:Douchebags From The Great Beyond
Perhaps you were just like me growing up, a regular geek. You had a few friends who shared some common interests otherwise you pretty much kept to yourself not really bothering anybody. But there was always that one kid who made it his personal mission in life to make your life as miserable as possible. He would trip you when you weren’t looking or perhaps just for sheer snorts and giggles he would give you a swift painful punch when you least expected it or extort milk money from you all the while calling it, “Protection money”. We have pretty much all had them and they are known by one simple word, bully. However I like to call them something else because Bully has no style no panache and mostly due to the fact that I have a real potty mouth so I like to use the term, Douchebag. The only way to deal with your own personal douchebag is to man-up and strike back, I did it and even to this day I still muse on the day when I struck back. I wonder if, Tim ever got that tooth fixed.
Now imagine if you can that your own personal douchebag who tormented you and your young life was not some glandular freak fat kid who ruled the playground but was unknown invisible force that invaded your home not just making your life unbearable but scared the bejeezus out of all who inhabited the house including the family dog. These Particular douchebags seemed to come from nowhere and yet had the ability to be everywhere at the same time. Loud bangings on the walls would keep everyone up at all hours of the night. Unseen, cold clammy hands would either rip your blankets off or tear you out of your slumber by pulling your sleeping form from bed and tossing you to the floor. Objects such as glasses or even heavy furniture would flung around the house. And finally when you could take no more you and your entire family would flee the house in abject terror leaving behind all your earthly possession only to find that this mysterious unseen force would follow you to your next dwelling and the terror would start all over again. This unseen, violent mysterious force I speak of is known by one word and one word only, Poltergeist.
The Poltergeist phenomenon has been a part of the human experience for centuries. The first recorded account of a Poltetgeist comes to us from 355 AD from the Bavarian farming village of Bingen. The victims, a small peasant farming family were forced to endure a regular hell on earth for over a 2 month period. The historical record tells us that among the unexplained phenomenon they endured were heavy rocks that struck the house and appeared to come from nowhere. The unseen force waited in the shadows until the family slept and then ripped their sleeping forms from their beds and threw them against the wall. And perhaps most frightening of all small fires broke out around the farm threatening to destroy all the family loved. And then just as mysteriously as it started the events came to end and the family was able to go back to business as usual.
Ceasing as suddenly as they began appears to be a common motif of the phenomenon or symptoms as I prefer to call them. Pretty much all researchers agree on the symptoms of the phenomenon but not on what causes the poltergeist attack. The more religiously minded researcher believes that a minion of satan, a demon is the cause of the phenomenon and the only way to remedy the situation is by driving the invading force out with an exorcism. However there are many cases in the annals of the paranormal that show that this archaic ritual only enrages the poltergeist and makes the phenomenon ten times worse.
Other researchers feel that the phenomenon is caused by the ghost of a human being that has passed on. However a human entity does appear to lack the energy required to attack humans in a physical manner as well as throw heavy furniture around like it was as light as a feather. The human entity uses up quite a bit of energy just to manifest itself and only for a short period of time hence the presence of a cold spot. In poltergeist cases the witness or victim feels hotspots rather than cold which could possibly indicate that the presence is adding energy to the surroundings rather than extracting energy from a location.
The most accepted explanation behind the poltergeist phenomenon is a little thing called, Recurrent Spontaneous Psychkinesis, or RSPK. When investigating a poltergeist outbreak, the researcher believes they can trace the cause not to some unseen entity haunting the location but rather to a living breathing person inhabiting the location. Nine times out of ten the person, or Focus appears to be a young girl on the verge of adulthood and enduring the trials and travails of puberty. Researchers believe that the focus is using their own energy as well as latent psychic ability. I usually explain this phenomenon like this : Think of a filling a balloon with water simple physics tells us that if fill that balloon with to much water it will eventually pop spilling the water all over. Poltergeist phenomenon works under the same principle. The focus is going through some pretty tough times, their body is changing, they are hitting young adulthood perhaps at a pace that causes them great distress and basically they just can’t handle the change throw in a little latent psychic ability and BLAMO you more or less have a psychic bomb that has just exploded and you now have a bigger problem then just zits and an akward body. The poltergeist phenomenon ceases just as mysteriously as it began usually because the focus has had her first mentrual cycle. Weird, you bet, but nothing is weirder than the poltergeist.
Apart from the Bingen event history is filled with many examples of poltergeist episodes. Some appear to be legite truly perplexing all involved or trickery was involved and at times a little of both. Consider if you will the Enfield Poltergeist episode. In 1977 in the London suburb of Enfield a single mother and her three children, two girls one boy began to experience unexplained phenomenon in their cramped two floor council house. One night as the family slept the mother was awoken by the screams of her two daughters. She rushed in to find her two girls huddled in a corner shaking in terror. When she asked what the noise was all about the heavy chest of drawers in the opposite corner of the room began to move of it’s own accord. The terrified mother gathered her children together and fled to a next door neighbors house. The neighbor a big burly gent went next door to investigate and could find nothing wrong. He checked every room and every nook and cranny to see if he could find an intruder. Finding nothing he returned to his own home and explained to the mother that he could find nothing except every light in the house was on. Satisfied with her neighbors findings the mother and her children returned home.
Over the intervening months the phenomenon began to pick up. Glasses and plates were flung from the cupboards, loud knockings and bangings came from the walls and bed clothes were ripped from their beds as they slept at night. The police were called to the home on more than one occassion and even they witnessed some of the phenomenon however they could do nothing to assuage the fears of the single mom and her kids. The police told them to contact someone who could handle the strangeness occuring in the house. Enter Maurice Grosse, paranormal researcher extrodinaire.
Grosse, a member of England’s famed, Society for Psychical Research was contacted by a newspaper editor and was given a complete rundown of the events that occured in the house. Upon investigation of the phenomenon Grosse, uncovered over 100 examples of events that were truly unexplained and a bit of trickery. Mr Grosse, caught the children on many occassions faking phenomenon and playing pranks on Grosse and his team. The proof of trickery caused the case to be called a hoax and Grosse almost lost his position with the SPR. However years later upon reconsideration of the events in Enfield the SPR termed the case “Unexplained with moments of trickery.”
Sometimes not all poltergeist phenomenon can be attributed to a young person going through puberty such is the case of the Poltergiest that attacked a law firm in Rosenheim, Germany. In 1967, the law firm decided to hire a new law clerk to pick up the slack of the over worked lawyers. The partners interviewed and went with a pretty nineteen year old college student, Annemarie Schneider. She appeared qualified for the position but the decision to hire her would turn out to be a huge mistake. Shortly after Miss Schneider started working at the law office strange phenomenon seemed to follw her everwhere she went. Lights would flicker and explode in her presence, phones would ring even those not plugged into the socket and strangest of all when the phone bill came the partners discovered that someone was calling a service that gave the time and the date in rapid succession. What the hell was going on, was the question on everyone’s lips.
Hans Bender, a well known paranormal researcher was sent to the law firm to see if he could find a reason for the odd haunting that frightened all in the office. Upon investigation Bender discovered that the activity picked up when the young clerk was present and determined she was the focus of the phenomenon. Bender questioned the young girl and discovered that her relationship with her family was rocky and almost non-existent because she was dating a young man that they dissaproved of. When Bender, declared that Annemarie was the cause of the phenomenon the Lawyers thought that she was physically causing the phenomenon and fired her. End of case, end of phenomenon.
Undoubtly Poltergeist Phenomenon can be considered some of the most mysterious paranormal phenomenon on record. Those who experience this phenomenon remark that the strange events have no brain or no intelligence behind the random events almost as if a small child is having a temper tantrum of hellish proportions. I am oftentimes asked what my personal opinion is concerning the poltergiest. I personally feel that the phenomenon is a reult of RSPK however due to the amazing amount of energy expelled it is possible thay human spirits as well non-human spirits or demons are attracted to the location which could explain the rare sightings of apparitions and some of the blasphemous phenomenon, such as ripping up bibles and desecrating holy relics in the home. Despite your level of skepticism you can not deny the fact that something other worldly happens to these people and their families that defies a logical explanation. And that is why Poltergeist Phenomenon stands head and shoulders among the rest of the weird stuff that occurs in our world.
Rick E. Hale


