Road Trip Into The Unknown: A Mad Scientist And His Bad Gas.

The First Time I accidently farted infront of my wife I was mortified, I was almost certain that this chick was going to drop me like a bad habit thinking I was a low class shlub but instead, to my elation, she broke out in peels of laughter and I knew that this chick was for me. Although my wife and I, and many of you I suspect think farts are funny there was nothing funny about the events that transpired in the small Illinois town of Mattoon in 1944 that involved an attack of bad gas.

In the Summer of 1944 the strong arm of the United States military was kicking ass and taking ass and taking names and a victory over the Germans and the Japanese was a definate shoe in. Patriotism was running high across the the good old U S of A and we seemed almost unstoppable. However a strange wave events took place in the most unthinkable of locations small town Illinois.

On the morning of August 31, 1944, Urban Raef and his wife were jolted from a deep slumber by a strange smell that seemed to permeate the entire house. As Mrs. Raef began to comment on the sickengly sweet scent of the smell she began to vomit violently. Mr. Raef, attempted to raise himself from their bed but found that his limbs felt as if they had been weighed down by heavy weights, whatever this gas was that was filling their home had an almost anasthethic quality to it. Mr Raef and the Mrs. were eventually able to flee from the house and later discovered that the pilot lights on the stove were ok and whatever the gas was that filled their home was not natural.

Later that night as a young woman slept in her home three blocks away from the Raef house she was awakened by the sound of her infant daughter coughing. The young mother attempted to leave her bed to attend to her ailing child but discovered she was unable to move her limbs she was paralyzed from the neck down. These were the first two attacks of the strange assailant that has gone down in the history books by the name of the “Mad Gasser of Mattoon”

As We saw in the previous series “Welcome To Illinois, Come For The Hospitality Stay For The Weirdness. My Home state, the state that spawned a creature such as myself is no stranger to ghosts, monsters and aliens so I thought it only fair to revisit the strangess of Illinois and we will return at a later date. But I digress.

A few days later on September 1st, Mrs. Kearney, awoke around 11pm when she strong sweet odor come through the window next to her bed. Mrs. Kearney, at first thought nothing of this due to the fact that she had a bed of roses just under the window that she cultivated earlier in the summer. However she became concerned when she tried to get out of bed and discovered that she could not feel her legs. Mrs Kearney began to to panic and screamed for her sister who was sleeping in the next room. The sister rushed into the room into the room and was overcome by the sickenly sweet smell that filled the room and began to wretch uncontrollably. At 12:30AM Bert Kearney, arrived home home from his night job as a cab driver to see a strange man clad in a tight fitting black jumpsuit crouching behind some bushes holding an odd apparatus. Mr Kearney, Chased the man away and rushed into the house to see if his wife and sister in law were safe.

When the police arrived at the Kearney residence they took a report of the of what they believed to be just a mundane prowler. Bert told the police that they had just recently come into a large sum of money and perhaps the prowler was attempting to bust in and steal it. Apart from the report of a strange noxious gas filling the home the police found no evidence of a break in and suggested that Mr. Kearney take his wife and sister in law to the local hospital to be treated for the burning sensation in their throat and nostrils.

When word of a mad gasser spread throughtout the town the citizens of Mattoon kept the local coppers busy on a wild goose chase. A multitude of calls poured into their office of sightings and attacks by the elusive mad gasser. One couple, the Cordes, called the police when Mrs. Cordes discovered a man’s handkerchief on the kitchen table. When she picked the handkerchief up and smelled it she remarked that the odor it emitted felt like an electrical charge shot through her body causing her to violently vomit and lose sensation in her legs. When the police responded to the Corde’s residence they found their first piece of physical evidence in the strange case. On the front porch they discovered a well worn skeleton key that would easily give the user access to any home in the community and a tube of lipstick on the ground near an open window. Perhaps the gasser was not a man after all but a woman or cross dresser. Who knows.

Following the episode at the Corde’s home, the police chiefcontacted the FBI who rushed an agent to the town to look into the strange matter at hand and launch an investigation. As the weeks went by and the attacks the chief began take notice that things were beginning to get weird and downright dangerous. People were calling his office stating they had seen a strange shadow outside their window and the gasser was in the house having a late night snack. Armed vigilantes took to the streets and citizens began taking potshots at shadows they thought were the sinister Gasser. Enough was Enough, the Sheriff thought if he didn’t put a stop to this someone in his town was bound to get hurt or dead. The sheriff, at the behest of the FBI, put out a press release warning citizens that if anyone was caught loitering or discharging firearms in a public place they would arrested and charged with endangering the general well being of the public. He further warned citizens to practice restraint with firearms in their homes. Unfortunately no one really listened.

And then just as mysteriously as they began the gassings came to an end. Several theories have been thrown out there to explain the strange episode of fear that gripped the the small town of Mattoon Illinois in the summer of 1944. Of course the ever present Mass Hysteria was sited as being the culprit behind the gassings. Secondly Imperial Atlas a local waste company was blamed for the fumes however they emphatically claimed they were in compliance with all state codes and regulations and they were to far away for Mattoon to be effected by their waste. Thirdly, since the nation was involved in a world war many believed that some mad nazi scientist was testing a new kind of gas and chose the citizens of Mattoon Illinois as his subjects and attempted to start a campaign of fear and confusion in America’s heartland. When you think about it I’m sure the average scumbag nazi had no clue where Mattoon, Illinois was making this theory highly unlikely. It is likely some lone whack job wanted to scare the citizens of this small wid west town for shits and giggles. Sometimes idle hands are the devil’s playground.

Rick E. Hale

t_seeker@hotmail.com